Friday, March 04, 2005

for struggles

so. I accuse other people of blaming themselves needlessly. And now what? I also want to blame others.

Some things like little brothers will really test your patience to the max. And I mean all the way. Only talk to you when they need you to do some menial task for them. Mess up the computer table. Nevermind. Talk to him and then pretend like nothing happen. Nevermind. I'm reading some school work and they switch on the TV. And all the usual things. And my mom is the no.1 hypocrite. Scold him for his bad habits one moment, spoil him and let him have his way the next.

Sometimes she looks at me when she expects me to correct his behaviour. Hello! Your spoiling him and giving in to him all the time makes my existence of no effect on him!

It can't be helped. My mother spoils him all the time so as to continue to enjoy his attention. Giving in. Overfeeding. Spoiling him. Whatever. That's why I'm so unpopular with him. Or most people for that matter.

It's not that I've never told my mother before. Time and again. But you know, she's stubborn. And on uncomfortable things people tend not to hear what they don't want to hear. I know what that means. The flat denial. The digression. The pseudo-answer. The Pretend.

I don't want to blame others. So here I am writing not against the persons, be it my brother or mother. I just don't like the mentioned behaviour. I think behaviour. But behaviour is already past, and as such should be forgiven.

Perhaps after years and years of patience they'll come to understand...

There is no logical reason why we put up with what we put up with. That is agape. For Christ's sake, don't dwell on it anymore.

Still no 211 topic yet... and we're doing Palestine for 216! yeah! 202 essay needed too...

And I still think TV is a very bad thing.

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. - Luke 6:35

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