Wednesday, February 14, 2007

eyes on the prize

Thought this year it would be different.

Thought I'd finally share it with the one who'd be with me till my dying day.

Thought at last this desert of love would find its sweet oasis

Thought I wouldn't have to go through this life with my other half missing from my side.

What was this event to me anyway? Social pressure

What was the significance of this day anyway? Profitteering off people's foolishness

What of the lovey-dovy all over the TV and radio, and moving off people's lips?
Just an important day on the retail market's calendar.

What does it mean to me now? As it always had meant to me. None of my business.

Why were we so different and yet together?

Why did I believe that we could conquer the inconquerable, without God in our hearts?

Why did we have to meet, if we were ever to part?

Why give me memories that linger so bitter when I call upon them to well up in the depths of my soul?

Was I undeserving?

Was it you who drove me away?

Was it something I didn't say?

Was it the torture that kept me awake night and day?

But you weren't treating me right

But you weren't being honest about the things you said

I got tired of the lies and games

And said "if this is heaven, send me to hell"

Dear God,

I've learnt my lesson. I didn't ask for certain things, nor was I seeking them, but by following on I complied. My already wavering testimony was shamed even more. I let things get the better of me. I explained myself away. I compromised. I should have known better. I wanted to rush things myself. You - are in charge of all things, and they'll come to pass in Your good time.

Next time,

I'll find someone who deserves me

I'll find someone who is true to me

I'll not give myself away so easily

I'll make sure she actually likes me for me

So dear Lord in heaven this I pray:

That Your Will I may always obey

That You'll send someone true to You and me my way

That in the meantime on You I'll wait

That though I be alone or otherwise on You my heart will always stay

"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised."- Proverbs 31:30


Anonymous said...

Wise up, BUDDY! and stop being such a freaking cry baby! no wonder girls use u.. ur such a softie and so emotional.. and stop using religion as an excuse for all ur boo-hoos.
well boo you! shiesh i bet being the crybaby u are, u'll cry aft this comment but hey truth is bitter.. didnt ya know that??

alex said...

Firstly, for someone who dares to use such strong words, you have no balls to even put your name. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Everybody has their own way of handling their problems. Who are u to tell them what to do?! Nvm Jerry and I should forgive you anyway CUS YOUR BRAIN IS AS SMALL AS YOUR SHRINKED UP BALLS! You are so retarded you cannot understand that the world doesn't revolve in your way.

acuransx said...

yo alex... thanks for standing up for me man... good to know you're a friend.

Don't worry too much about anonymous ppl leaving such comments... its one thing to have your own way of seeing and handling problems, and another to be calling others names...

We can leave it to my blog readers to decide so I won't be blocking anything

Catch up with you sometime again!

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. - Romans 12:19

Anonymous said...


anonymous, if you're not a wussy, then leave your name? firstly, there's nothing wrong with crying, there's such a thing as new age sensitive men who are in touch with their emotions. stop being such a fugly jerk.

*Hugs Rong Jie* I hope you're feeling better. If you need a listening ear, I'm here for you. And yeah, ignore the rude person. Everybody has a right to handle their problems their own way and who is he/she to judge you?