Have a heart that wants to seek God, but confused by the Trinity?

Doctrine of the Trinity

Begotten, created. Christ is begotten of God. That is why we sort of try to explain this as God the Father, Son and Holy Ghost as being of one essence. The point of this is to show how men are different, that they are created of God, in God’s image, but we are still created, not begotten.

Jesus is 100% God, 100% man, but however you are going to put it – always was, is, will be (ah, the fallacy and cumber of the English language I so adore), higher than us because He is divine. He is of the same essence as God. So He is God. (The actual doctrine goes something like one God, three Persons, or one Essence, three manifestations, or Godhead or I’m not sure what else). The inadequacy of our English language. My brother tells me its expressed a little bit more clearly in German or some other language.

Slight digression, elaboration

One reason I believe why this is so hard to understand is because we tend to think of things in terms of embodiments. I, am Jerry. Who is Jerry? This person, this living body over here. But here we talk of divine things. Where is Jerry's essence? or soul? We tend to think of ourselves in terms of our physical embodiment or location that our sensory percepts so indicate. Perhaps for us fallen creatures we are bound to our flesh, so our soul is where our body is. Its an entrapment. But God's essence is Divine, He transcends, no, He created all things! So of course He is beyond! But I need to clarify, that I am not putting our soul on equal footing with God's essence. It is for want of a better word that I use it. I just know that we all long to return to Him, if we search our hearts and cast out all the trappings of this world that cloud us.

How impossible that would be for us fallen men! But with God all things are possible.

Encouragement

Search and read Scripture to be sure. Seek earnestly with your heart yet with meekness and longsuffering. Don’t be disheartened if you can’t explain it to others as a means of showing comprehension, but seek to comprehend it in your heart.

History

This doctrine probably came about because some people started going around saying that Jesus was human at some point in time (they say He somehow managed to attain some divine status later - sometimes used to like Christ with buddha), Jesus was not conceived by the Holy Ghost (that’s why we keep stressing Virgin Mary), Jesus was a mere prophet, Jesus was not God, apart from the usual accusations back then. You can find out more from some of the writings of the early church fathers when lots of these clearly blasphemous teachings started surfacing. Anyone got some church history resources to share?

God keep us all.