Monday, October 10, 2005

Lazarus

My lesson starts at 2pm so what am I doing in school at 9am?

1. I plan to go swimming at 11am.
2. I sent my brother to camp. He's booking in to go for Modified BMT recourse.
3. I've been sleeping too much these few days. Approximately 30% of my house area consists of bed / sofa. The rest is just really noisy. And yea, its 100% hot and stuffy.
4. I have the 301 report to finish.
5. I have the Falling Man article to critique
6. I have Photojourn readings to read
7. I have a feature story to mull over
8. I need to blog because I haven't done so for a long time.

The heartbroken realist

What is love but a foolish fleeting glance?

A thing to be enjoyed for as long as it will last?

A magic-carpet ride on foundations all so sparse?

But of faithfulness remaineth when the ecstasy has passed.

I don't usually rant. Is that because I store up all the stuff in my head, so that I may 1 day explode and become mad? No...

It is because some things I have learnt not to dwell on them. Some things I have learnt not to engage in flights of fancy. Some things I have learnt to forgive. Some things I have learnt to regret. And in all things I have learnt to have faith.

Do I get upset, am I unsure, do I feel like whining? Yes. Do I hope for some things to happen? Yes. But ranting only cools you off and then you start building all the steam again. And the permanence of writing is not always a good thing because you recall things you ought to leave behind.

What use have I of it then? Primarily to encourage others (I hope). An insight into human frailities and struggle, in a dark world not yet forsaken by God. That my friends may know the paradox, and yet the greater peace that comes with surrendering your life back to God.

In human eyes, it must have been divine foolishness to forgive horrible people like me - specimens preferred "well done" in hellfire. But that is the nature of God's love which is beyond even the wisest of all human understanding.


Hopefully you'd want to step out of the tossing sea of uncertainty too.

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