Sunday, November 04, 2007

short whine

After reading about Jas's blog, I decided that okay, since right now I feel like saying something, I will.

I think I suffer from being too non-confrontational. If somebody steps on my toes or does things that undermines me I tend to just say nothing. And go home to brood about it. Or feel lousy about myself. I don't stand up for myself, especially even when I feel I am really being unreasonably undermined.

It's like, the moment somebody says or criticizes my work or undoes it, my first thought will be how bad or lousy I am or how incompetent I am. Even if later when I sit through, examine and think though the facts I find that I'd been doing things properly.

Low self-esteem. Oh well. Have to learn to get over it. And call a spade a spade when it matters. I know I can do it sometimes, depending on how important the thing I'm going to have to stand for is. No matter who it is. I think it's the last part that's the hardest. Proceed with caution.

Busy busy Saturdays and Sundays! Must avoid the "busy martha" syndrome...

Pray for my new job! Work starts tomoro! Ciao!


1 comment:

j said...

Well, if it helps, I often suffer from that too. So you're not alone. I'd feel indignant but say nothing about it at that point of time, but then mull over it for a long time, often wishing I HAD said something at the moment it happened. And then sometimes, the more I think about it, the more fault I attribute to myself. That's when I feel really lousy. So, yeah, you're not alone. But think there's good in the bad I guess. I always think, if I reacted at that point of time conflict happens, things might have become worse if I had shot my mouth off before I had time to think about things properly. There are times after I've mulled over things enough, I pluck up the courage to talk to the person in question to frankly tell him/her that I wasn't happy with what was said or done. In a nice, peaceful way of course. Which I might not have been able to do if I had reacted immediately. So, there can be good in it too =)

Take heart! Ask for wisdom...JIA YOU!