oRd loh! Carefree days are over...

It's been a long time. It's not that I neglected my blog. But on the last 2 occasions I tried to blog somehow things got interrupted, utterly destroyed, some parts of the web toolbar (like the picture loading options) failed to load, and so on. Just got so utterly pissed.

So many things have happened. Taiwan and back as mentioned previously. Malacca and back. I'm pleased to say that ye olde Soluna hit 140km/h on the downhill on the journey back. Tyres are incredibly noisy though. And it would seem that higher octane petrol really does last slightly longer...

Spent most of Malacca trip roaming around the town, tourist sights, sea sights, city area, Jonker Walk, Mahkota Parade, etc etc. I dig their chendol.

Drats it happened again. The upload picture window jammed on me. BLEAH! ok no photos then.

btw, I've decided to start using my Friendster account since I keep getting irritating nagging msgs about it anyway, so here goes www.friendster.com\praisevariants

maybe I'll start updating and tidying it up... who knows... *hah*

Had a call from Ms Goh from VJ it seems that there's no way I'll be going for contract teaching in a JC halfway through the year... so no GP for at least half a year... oh well.... by God's grace let's just see where I'll go... I'd like to ask for an easier posting and I pray I won't get such a 'tough' place... but more importantly I pray for strength to go through whatever it is that gets thrown at me.

Oh yes - 21 days left of full-time NSF came and went. Officially collected my IC yesterday with Henry the medic. Got a sprained foot. Bought a new pair of New Balance PT shoes. Chatted up with some old coursemates. Made a few new friends at the guardroom. Basically whiled my time away. Btw, BDE is much slacker than it used to be. The bunks are absolutely filthy. IPPT pass rate is so low. No I don't like regimentation at all but even the basic standards are not being met... zero discipline. And I'm getting fatter no thanks to the portions of food at the cookhouse, no matter how gross.

My tuition kid did alright for his exams Thank God... but we've still got vocab and comprehension skills to work on...

BSF leader meetings every Monday have been edifying... every since school ended I've never been as disciplined in doing any form of written work for a long time... practising leading a discussion group has also been very helpful. Praise God! Still have some church admin stuff hounding me though.... *sheepish smile*

My laptop's been fully revived with an expensive 7200rpm harddisk and I'm going to gradually shift all my usage to it... its got that irritating jammed F1 key that always gets on my nerves though... and the PC mouse has a crazy self-doubleclick syndrome...

There. Only 1 month left before I start work at a school. At this point in time I don't even know what school I'm going to. Or whether my application for teaching award has been successful.

Life isn't going to be the same anymore. The way we look at things here and there, and reminscence - only 1 thing stays the same. God be with us. Amen :)

they say that in the army

Back from Taiwan... and a major spending spree... not entirely because of the trip though

Spent $950 on the tour itself
$300 on the really AWESOME C5050Z with F1.8 super bright lens (Thank God!)
$185 on a 7200rpm laptop HDD to replace the dead one in my laptop.
$335 to repair the car aircon which had a cooling coil which leaked refridgerant

So if you see me scrimping and whining.... you know why... haha.... my bank account dropped to new lows and its been making me quite shaky. Btw my car aircon is like a freezer now. Good JOB i Love it :)

Taiwan is an interesting place... think of it as a much more orderly and civilized Malaysia...

Right now I'm serving the nation... for 21 more days haha... have some really sian sentry duty have to stay overnight for the next 3 days but after that things should be a breeze... new HQ CSM seems like a nice chap... talks to me like I'm reservist... cool...

At first I was feeling quite miserable but Thank God... things are ok here... just the next 3 days of sentry at a different camp but at least there are facilities to shower.

getting it out

its Saturday night.

A good time to reflect on certain things. Just finished with HPF anniversary. Amazing that Rev. Robert pointed out there're 366 "fear nots" in the Bible. One for each day.

My last lesson in school ever was yesterday. CS446. With a presentation. Ended with such a bang. What now? Out into the world... job hunt? Settle in teaching?

Rev Robert was busy chatting with me about his path to full-time ministry and how he intended to propose an internship programme for people considering entering ministry. But still, he recounted of how, for him at least, having worked substantially in the corporate world better equipped him to be a pastor as in he could relate directly to the people he was counselling...

Priorities. God as the ultimate priority. Serve God through the church. Through ministering to others. Serving others.

Seems things are gonna be quite busy. Monday is "the last hurrah" as Dr Cherian put it. FYP oral defence. Following week is exams on Monday and Tuesday. Friday is zao down to Taiwan with Weijian and parents.

Come back already, then is rest a few days then go back army camp for 3 wks to serve finish remnants of NSF. Come out in June. The REAL last hurrah. July go start contract teaching.

Wonder how things are on your side.

Jerry

Temporality

Sometimes I wonder - it's probably much easier to die for Christ than to live.

It was Saturday and we had some personal sharing after some lessons on Ecclesiastes.

The context was about Solomon, the purported writer of that Book. God told Solomon He would grant him anything he desired, and he asked for wisdom. Thus he was the wisest man under heaven ever. And with wisdom the recognition of the futility and sadness of this world.

So our teacher asked us - "If God would grant you one wish, what would you ask for?"

I asked to go straight to heaven and people looked at me like I was talking funny. Somehow there's a sort of melancholy about the way I see life nowadays. What does it mean to be a sojourner on this earth? Is it possible to take joy and happiness in the things we have now? Can we honestly do that when we know everything will eventually come to nothing?

I've felt it before. When you get so attached to something that you throw everything else out the window... its dangerous what we fix our hearts on.

I want to keep my heart beyond the things of this world. The world is merely for getting by - by the grace of God. Can we boast any bit about our accomplishments, our achievements, our great legacies? It all comes to nothing. Nothing. Striving and labouring... in the end all comes to nothing.

Post-FYP

It's April.

Let's address the items from my previous post.

FYP came and went in a bang. So much for all that. Now it's about whether it's going to pull my grade down or not. But I had fun. The many overnights with Simon redoing and redoing the layout. Heh. Picked up quite a few more InDesign skills and improved efficiency. Somewhat. Have to learn to plan better ahead with more detailed master pages and use paragraph styles.

MOE is settled. Going in on July if nothing else comes up. So far, none of the resumes I sent out has had any sort of reply. *sigh*

Massage was fantastic. Had a sauna then some oil stuff then this mainland Chinese woman gave a very forceful effort with lots of strength. Especially on the calves. What made it really great was that I was having a little bit of leg aching after doing the treadmill the previous day at 2.4km speed for an extended period of time... So it was quite timely indeed...

Too bad its so ex or I'd go regularly. Heh.

Congrats to WJ on his new weekend car. Chevrolet Aveo Hatchback 1.4 with really spanking good looking 14inch rims.

Exams on 23rd and 24th Apr. I'm resuming the last 3 weeks of my NS in May after coming back from Taiwan with Weijian n folks.

Visited the dentist.... after a lapse of 4 years! He says I've been brushing off the enamel of my 2 front teeth... it won't be white anymore. LOL. I wonder if I should go for wisdom tooth extraction and time it with my NS ... HAHA... but its ex... at least $300

Watched "Phantom of the Opera" on Thursday night with my little bro (okay, JC1 is not little)... its just a term of reference. Just like how MTV means "music video" and hence it was ruled mtv.com.sg was not trademark infringement of MTV the company. So in the end MTV had to buy the address from that cybersquatter :)

Filling out some irritating accident report form... i tapped the bumper of someone's Camry the other night on the expressway in a traffic jam... and he was adamant that he was going to send it back to Borneo (motors) to get it checked although the most if could have been was a scratch. Nothing was visible as anyway his car's rear bumper is higher than mine. What could happen at 5km/h anyway?

Yes it's still my fault I know... but he went on complaining about how he just resprayed his whole car (did he just have an accident?) and all that. I said why not you try the reverse sensor but he refused. Anyway I got quite fed up and just told him to claim insurance. Then his wife make so much noise ask me to sign some statement saying its my fault. Really... try to bully me ah... I told her goodbye after exchanging drivers' particulars. So here I am filling this thing up in case he really finds something to repair... and I'm backed up by photos in case he tries to be funny...

I've let ppl who've bumped and scraped my car off at least 4 times when I knew I clearly would have been able to claim money or repair from them... because to me the car is meant to be functional for use... and such things are inevitable... as a daily driver I know things do happen and ppl have been nice to me before... as long as its not substantial or functional damage I just let it off

For the love of God, I don't find happiness in making ppl pay and bleed when its just a small mistake... we must learn not to attach ourselves too much to our precious objects... even our cars :P

But I guess other ppl value different things differently...

Been having talks with various ppl abt God, faith et al. About struggles and stuff. There's also been a lot of reflecting going on after the sober video on Calvinism. About rebirth and salvation. It's hard to be a Christian sometimes, especially when you lose sight of Jesus and heaven. And you get clogged up and muddled in all the confusion in between. But never give up. As long as we obey the Spirit rather than ourselves, it will be all so easy to experience what Jesus promised -

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. - Matthew 11:30

Till next time (which I suspect will be real soon)

Jerry, pest and recalcitrant.

life without you

fyp's picking up.

finally. I've been skiving so much with so many things going on.

So has the sending out of CVs and cover letters.

I'm going to do two things tomorrow -

1) attend MOE appointment briefing. They're only offering me a 1 yr teaching contract.

2) FREE $120 back massage at this Spa place voucher courtesy of Ning heh. Thanks lots. Let's see if its worth $120

3) tuition

I'm trying my best to busy myself for now... Don't know how to get the closure... or whether I really want to...

hai. does it have to be this way?



*silent confusion*

Be a Barnabas

Sometimes, those little nuggets and hidden facts from the Bible really amaze you. And no its not trivia, but rather, a small little fact with really profound implications and of great teaching and encouragement value... Thanks Wing for sharing this!

And Joses, who by the apostles was surnamed Barnabas, (which is, being interpreted, The son of consolation,) a Levite, and of the country of Cyprus, Having land, sold it, and brought the money, and laid it at the apostles' feet. - Acts 4:36-37

The case of the Levite Barnabas

At the end of Acts Chap 4 verses 36-37, it talks about a Levite Joses whom the apostles surnamed Barnabas - a Levite.

Now a Levite is of the priestly class in Jewish society - they're the sons of Aaron. They were called by God to be His priests and were to have no land inheritance.

So this Levite, having had land to his name was probably a very comfortable and well to do priest who had slacked off and decided to get some earthly wealth and inheritence of his own by buying some land, rather than fulling depending on God.

But then, upon hearing about the gospel of Christ preached by the apostles, he gave up this land, sold it, and laid it at the apostles' feet for redistribution amongst those in the young church.

It must have been initially ironic and perhaps embarassing for Barnabas to go to the apostles and admit that he had land to sell in the first place! But its in true humility, repentance and turning from the old ways to Christ's call that he did it, and its truly of the Holy Spirit~

Even for this Levite who had gone worldly, upon conviction by the Holy Spirit of truth he took action to cease his worldly ways and return to the faithful service of God.

It's quite a wake-up call for myself and perhaps those who feel like me in some ways too.

We know what its all about, the saving grace, peace and true joy and happiness. And once we gloried and went on in it. But somehow being in the world dulls our fire and enthusiasm and somehow, 1 foot gets stuck back into some of the worldliness that surrounds and permeates us.

Admitting which parts of our lives is compromise of God's standards is hard. We don't want to see it, or admit it, or draw the line.

But hey, a persecutor of Christians like Saul could become a Paul, a lukewarm Levite could become a Barnabas. We must never give up.

:)