have fallen sick. Sore throat with a stuck nose and tonnes of mucus moving around from the nose to the throat. Anywhere but out. No gross Sam pics though.

Must have either gotten it from my brother or that stupid packet of potato chip that I attacked for no apparent reason. Or the chocolate bars I've been eating for lunch... (but hey's that's like once every 4 days...)

Its a blessing that this happens only AFTER we finish the shooting for 229... which was a great and efficient session by the way. Alexis's camera idea was brilliant. The sun got in the way though, by 11am it was too powerful the calibration resulted in about 8200k light instead of the typical 6200k! We got lazy of using glynn's cute slate board and started yelling out the takes.

We were viewing the rushes... looked great! And had consistent sound too (kinda soft though).

NEW DREAM CAR

Actually, its not a dream car, but a car I would realistically want to own! Its a Honda Integra GSR. Yes, no naughty Type-R for me... that would be too troublesome!

No. 1 - I don't like any type of ah-beng spoiler at the back...
No. 2 - I appreciate the 5-spd automatic transmission... smooth and yet fuel and acceleration efficient... great for city crusing!
No. 3 - I like the rear end view and styling... beautiful... wish it had slimmer headlights though

1998 cc inline 4 engine. 160bhp. 2-door coupe configuration. I'll definately need the sunroof option. And the electric folding mirrors. 5-speed automatic. Leather seats. Windows tinted to 70/20 light transmission. Extra-wide rearview mirror. Rear wiper.

Ah... a nice comfortable cruising coupe. Great for city driving. Who cares about the people free-riding in the cramped back seats? The boot is a lift-back too.

90,000 bucks. Now I think that's how much my Nissan Sunny cost brand new back in 1999. Who would want a Sunny when you could get this gorgeous......... *ramble*. And don't forget, yesterday's money is worth more today!

Lunar New Year and Constantine

Feel bad. Have been indulging in too much excesses. Overeating. That exceedingly bloated feeling has finally left me after a span of 36 hours. And other things as well.

Kept waking up in the middle of the night recently. Scratching around non-stop. Or maybe sleeping on an exceedingly full stomach is extremely uncomfortable.

Sin. Temptation. These are things very real.

Sat down with cousins to chat. Usual stuff. V-day pressures. Girls. Army life. School.

Got a lecture from my dearest Uncle at reunion dinner about the harsh facts of life. Work for a while, gain some experience - but go into sales. He speaks from a long life of working experience. Being a sales person is the only way to security. Either that or be a top scientist. The only 2 ways to survive.

That's what my dad told me too.

And I told Uncle about being a journalist and being in media and what I thought I'd do. And he repeated himself again. My dear uncle. He hath all our interests at heart.

CONSTANTINE

Watched that Keanu movie yesterday with ol' Vanz. He was late rushing last minute as usual.

Its an unfortunately shallow movie for something of religious subject matter. The only little hint of in-depth character struggle is Constantine being unable to make sense of why he had a second chance to live, but that had little development.

"God has a purpose." For everyone, not just those who can see demons.

Throughout the movie I get a feeling of the whole sense of human helplessness in the scheme of things. The book of Job comes to mind, of how we are mere conduits of a wager between God and Satan.

Some things Constantine says are consistent, of how we are born fallen. For dramatisation purposes the demons do actually cross over from hell, which is why there is a need for exorcism, holy water, relics, psychics and all that stuff.

Something very dangerously misleading in the movie is that concept of balance, as suggested by the black guy in charge of the Satanic bar. He claims to be neutral and merely maintaining the 'balance'.

As if God didn't own everything in the universe.

This is a concept that is something like 'ying' and 'yang' inaccurately and dangerously weaved into our metaphysical understanding of the universe according to the doctrines of Christianity.

There is constant battle on earth no doubt, but unlike the Constantine story plot which is bounded in time and allows for a possibility for evil to triumph the battle in reality is already won, and not by ourselves.

Oh yes, and I'm sure most people got the salvation by faith and not through works part figured out quite early, with Constantine demanding that he had bought himself back to heaven with the demons he has sent back to hell.

I am still trying to figure out what Gabriel was supposed to mean in the show, and she's either comic relief or a satirical poke at the formal religious establishment's authority.

The movie could have done better with deeper insights into Constantine's struggle but hey, fighting demons with relics makes for more popular appeal.

An overall superficially and inwardly inaccurate portrayal of what Christianity is about for the most part, with little in depth exploration of issues and hardly any questions or thoughts provoked.

On the whole, typical Hollywood mass-produced fodder.

On relationship.

Thankful and greatful I am.

Had a long day but yipee!

Spent the weekend out with my mom and aunts. The usual blahblah shopping etcetc.

Went running this morning its been like 2 weeks. Feels very xiong. WF when's your next round I need some encouragment!

216 is so cool we see so many videos and they're actually meaningful, be it communists in USSR, or South-East Asian nationalism. Sometimes I just get this strange feeling during Dr Kluver's tutorial though. It's like, so dense, by which I mean his framework of thought.

Already I hear some of the classic V-day blues coming from some people. Haha. Being attached is a blessing and most certainly a state I won't mind being in, but not that it's something I'd go about fighting and seeking anxiously for. In the sense not that I won't feel like a 'complete' person if I don't ever get attached, but rather that if it were fated so by circumstances, situations (being in the right place, right time right situation etcetc) then two people would meet and get attached.

You know how couples like to get together and talk about how impossible it seemed that they would meet, but they do! So many factors are involved, I'm pretty sure God has His hand in all this!

Now I seem like someone resigned to fate, or like those who just sit there and wait for things to happen. Well, my belief is that for things like your significant other with whom you will be one in the flesh with and can never part except in death, there's no forcing things.

Now, picking and choosing your life partner is a curious thing too. Most of the time by which we base our criteria on are still subjective elements (all the more so in a world through rose-tinted glasses) and emotional feelings and highs might cloud us.

I'm not saying that these elements don't matter. They sure do! It's just that we can't go about like this in a very conscious manner thinking of the criteria and so on. Don't forget a person's qualities doesn't stay the same always! It's especially problematic when you're under peer pressure to get attached.

But then, when things happen they will just happen. Enjoy the emotional rush. But for Christians, remember to keep clear in both your consciences the meaning of being of 1 body and 'till death do us part' and know that the other person understands it as the same.

A relationship built on shaky ground cannot be fulfilling or lived out to what it was meant to be.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Nothing in this world is certain. But its great to have another mortal being while on this earth to be one with you through everthing, both souls trusting in the Lord, till such time we be called back home.

So great a blessing a relationship avowed before God is!

For those who have found their other half may you folks stay together in body and spirit always

For those who remain unattached - be merry but at the same time without putting down those who are (I really dislike pros & cons discussions on these things - so super subjective)

of course, some people just suppress themselves all the times and in all areas by drowning themselves in other pursuits - work, studies, CCAs, whatever, all those politically correct things to be overdoing.

Ring a bell?

God keep us always.

crash boom bang

hmm. Saw funny things at the carpark today.

Was filming at the carpark outside hall 7's front porch and witness really hilarious incidents.

Seems like theres a particular parking space that's extremely popular because it has some shade thanks to a tree directly above it. But the thing is, its next to the curb.

So within a span of 1 hour I see 2 cars that parked there and drove off mounting and getting stuck over the curb.

Theres this cool looking new Subaru Legacy plain vanilla version. Guy wearing sunglasses. Cool looking. When he parks into the lot he positions himself like, super close to the curb already. Nevermind. Then when he gets excited and leaves its like he turns left even before leaving the space, and mounts and climbs halfway over the curb on the grass patch with this squeaky sound that disrupts our filming. We all keep staring at him in amusement. Its like his poor car is half immobilzed and impaled across the curb and hanging there.

"Darn. Should have bought the all-wheel-drive version. Then I could pretend I did it on purpose."

After he painfully backs up his car with more heart-wrenching sounds he drives off past us, still looking quite cool in his sunglasses till I want to burst out laughing.

Then within half an hour another guy, this time an old man, parks there too in his Ford Laser. He spies his tennis buddy coming out from the building and gets excited and mounts the curb as well. His is much worse he kind of half climbs totally such that his car looks like its travelling sideways along the slope. More painful crunching sounds. Amusing.

Well it does take a lot of accelerator stomping to mount a curb. (That's why you fail when you do it while on test - you're too heavy footed for your own good)

For the record I struck the curb during my test - wanted to go really really deep into the parking space.

And yes I have hit the curb before but typically at low speed. Its just not right to drive fast in parking lots.

I once almost got ploughed down by this Lexus that was speeding down a straight in Suntec underground carpark. And he stared at me with a 'get out of my way' look and proceeded to drive round and round furiously with tyres screeching looking for a parking space. By the time I found mine he was still going round and round...

for common decency

Which issue should I start with?

Ah yes, division selection. Currently its between Journalism and Communication Research. The others though enjoyable are unfortunately write-offs: to me PPC is the dark side though highly realistic and pragmatic and EBM is, well, trade-based, though I would enjoy it very much.

Students of media are not just supposed to be trained in the craft. They are producers of information for the masses, they need to have very strong ethic senses. All the skills in the world are useless if you think like Adolf Hitler. He was a great manipulator, orator, politician but no morals.

At least, that is my ideal. Pragmatism rules the roost nowadays.

211: What do you want to be when you grow up? (it's an anthropological test of societal complexity)

ANS: Whatever gives me the best job and income prospects.

Pragmatism 101.

Well, pretty much any job in Singapore will provide enough for you to eat actually, if you can be so content with just that.

I would think the most idealistic people around would have been those who, having come from elite, privileged classes of old who upset the old order knowing that it would undermine their own well-being.

Infantile you say?

Perhaps. Well such people believed greatly in the welfare of their countrymen, and it ached their hearts to see them suffering unfairly in the present order of things.

But how suited am I to a career in the journalistic field? (Not that choosing that division automatically means such a career path)

Hardly.

There are far too many things which I deem too petty to be of newsworthiness.

I terribly dislike sensationalism and think it lowly and unbecoming.

I respect certain types of personalities and disdain others.

I can never be called upon to support a point which I personally do not believe in.

(During debating I was relegated to being a spare because I refused to argue for certain notions. Inflexible? I want to think of it as not being a chameleon - form is nothing without substance - you're a human being and you must stand for something, role playing can only go so far)

Am I intellectually haughty? A snob? Yes.

Want to contribute anything worthwhile to this world? Nothing else other than to reawaken its conscience.

Really? Or am I saying it to appease myself?

Gotta run now. Don't do anything rash in the meanwhile.

God bless

And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

Oh no. I am being a liability when I drive without the aircon. What's been going on these few days? Has it been hotter than usual? Lack of sleep? Too much sleep? Or what? How to maintain a level of zen on the roads?

Maybe I should just stay off the fast lane. 110kph n ppl still tailgate you. There's just too many ppl in a hurry. Singapore is too crowded and in too much of a hurry.

Keep a following distance of 3 car lengths at 110kph and ppl cut u from behind just to squeeze into that gap and then they have to start braking because they got too close to the next car in front, setting off a chain reaction of braking.

Maybe their logic is to intimidate ppl into going faster so if one person doesn't tailgate and intimidate the car in front to go faster then everyone would slow down and waste their time.

And we all know that tailgating ppl up a slope on the expressway is a sure way of causing cascade braking which finally ends at a 0kph stop situation at the bottom of the slope, don't we?

This morning the journey to school was so much better. Sunshine. Aircon on. And at several sections of the highway there were actually leaves rustling and blowing across, as if to blanket me and my car. How beautiful. Or maybe it was because traffic wasn't heavy.

The more ppl the uglier it gets. 1 person is a little dumb. Put 1 whole bunch in a confined space and all goes mad. And yes that goes for me too.

I think I'd better revert to my old criteria for typical daytime driving needing aircon. Aircon is really different from say like, windows down. Although the wind is blowing its still dry, hot and irritating somehow. Like standing next to an aircon compressor. Oh but when the aircon is on... wah its really powerful and cooling. What a blessing.

Okay, aircon for daylight times except early dawn. Interior probably developing a thick layer of dust by now anyway. Being a biker must be really really tough...

Dad flew off today. Saw him off at the airport. Feels strange.

School was extremely eye opening today. The new world economy of individualism and consumerism for 211.

216 was fantastic. Indonesian and Vietnamese nationalism. But still produced pretty much from a Western perspective. What a challenge it must have been, to live in those times past. In our modern time, the enemy that we deal with is unseen. It is that delusive pride in mankind.

Dr. Benjamin suggested a hypothesis that marriage is a form of patriarchy that is designed to keep men relevant. Well, it seems logical if you compare humans with animals like elephants and so on. But why do we always have to start with animals as a basis of comparison? With that all would be permissable so why would we need to have any values? Hmm... not that ppl bother so much about it anymore anyway.

Granted, people have always behaved like scum throughout history. That is this world. But at least in the past it was with this overriding guilt that we knew how we should have behaved. That ideal was at least there. Well, now ppl just find the ideals irrelevant altogether. Being led and driven by what they want, what they feel, wanting to see results quickly.

Why are we put on earth to go through such futility? So that we'll appreciate heaven, of course.

God keep us.

reconciliation

Thought I'd have a free day tomorrow, but then I forgot all about the division selection talk... all the way to school for half an hour... but nevermind, this week is special, had free petrol from my dad. So allow me the luxury of driving to school for the entire week too (heehee).

Woke up at about 4am. Had too much at dinner last night at chomp chomp with all the 5 of us family members plus Aunt Janet. Felt bloated and couldn't sleep but did in the end. Now I've just woken up. Yay!

I was happy to see my dad reconciled with his dad last night. Well it did sound really awkward they haven't seen each other for years and they definately did sound like it was really difficult to talk each other.

In spite of whatever may have happened in the past my granddad is an old man after all, so why should we continue to avoid contact in petty unhappiness?

As usual my dad was talking big the entire evening and my mom was making noise at him and countering him and all that. I was glad to be just driving.

I'm very thankful indeed. After all, my dad is an old man too (relative to me) and I know that eventually all things will come to pass for the eventual good.

By the way, the car was less than gently reminding me last night of how prone it is to overload. With 5 people the braking distanced increased by so much and acceleration suffered terribly. And on the journey back with 6 ppl it got even worse (but by the time it was 6 ppl the acceleration was so lousy braking wasn't an issue - we couldn't even attain enough speed to pose a risk)

Well the car engine is small (1.5) and the suspension is very old (broken). But in such situations you have to be thankful it wasn't a Nissan March.

Thank God and the love of Christ, I'm no longer wondering about in the woods, though this world does tempt me all the time, and at many times I befuddle myself. Light versus darkness. The struggle goes on. But surely, as God hath said, stand back and watch the salvation of the Lord! And may it come to pass that on every moment will we rest and trust on that.

Praise the Lord!

here's food for thought on how the world could have been created in 6 days. A day simply could mean (and there's strong biblical support) the presence of light all the way till the absence of light, NOT 24 hours as we understand it. Hence the millions of years of fossil records are millions of years in 24 hour days, but as far as the bible is concerned, it was only 6 days of periods of continuous light in between darkness. After all, sun was created on the fourth day remember?

Amen!